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Happy Valentines Day!

What a perfect day to talk about love and how to sustain it for a lifetime.

Love is a powerful emotion. It can transform you in a moment. Love makes us joyful, grateful, generous, productive, selfless and brings us more joy than anything else ever could. It is a natural high.

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Falling in love is easy. It happens by chance. Staying in love takes work. It is a choice.

In order to stay in love you need to choose to see the good and ignore the small, petty stuff. You need to seek out what you could do for your partner, and never lose sight of what you love your partner. By making these choices you will reap the many rewards of staying in love.

My husband and I have been told that our relationship mirrors that of a couple who are dating and just fell in love with each other. What a compliment! It truly is an amazing feeling. After almost 20 years of marriage, we are both still very much in love with each other.

Below I am going to discuss some of the choices that you and your partner can make to help you stay in love with each other.

Communicate with Each Other

As we all know, communication is critical for all relationships. Honest communication is a crucial part of any loving relationship. When both partners feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears and desires, trust and bonds are both formed and strengthened. Nonverbal communication using body language such as eye contact, leaning forward, or touching your partner are powerful forms of communication.

Listen to Each Other

Listening to each other reaps benefits in every area of your relationship. When you listen, you learn things that will help you love your partner even more deeply. You may catch a glimpse of their hopes and dreams, or understand why they hurt or have certain fears. You will become aware of things you didn’t know.

When you actively listen to each another, you each get the attention both of you deserve and desire. This makes you each feel important and heard. You begin to develop a strong understanding which is crucial for relationships. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “It is a luxury to be understood.”

Forgive Each Other

No matter how much in love two people are, they are bound to hurt each other. This hurt can come from words, actions, inconsiderate behavior or neglect. A long-lasting relationship is one who is able to forgive each other. Forgiveness is the ability to deal constructively with anger allowing a couple to move forward with trust, understanding and hope.

To Forgive is really to remember that no one is perfect.
To Forgive is really to remember that we are so much more than our mistakes.
To Forgive is to remember that we have room in our hearts to begin again.

(Author Unknown)

Connect with Each Other

When you first met, do you remember calling each other constantly when you were apart? It’s worth incorporating some of that contact into your day now. It only takes a few minutes to send a text message or an email to let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. Call them during your lunch hour to say “I love you.” Contact during the day when you are apart will keep the positive feelings flowing and when you are together at the end of the day, it will be that much  more meaningful.

Laugh with Each Other

Laughing reduces stress, improves communication, and releases feel-good hormones. It creates great memories, helps anger fade, and melds people together. Quite simply, laughter is good for love.

Value and Appreciate Each Other

Saying “thank you” for the little things you often take for granted is important. Even though you expect your partner to do certain things, expressing your appreciation really goes a long way and should practiced as often as possible. Each time you express gratitude and show that you value and appreciate your partner, you increase the positive feelings in your relationship.

Protect Each Other and Your Relationship

People who stay in love value the love they share. They will do whatever it takes to defend and safeguard their relationship. Certain behaviors such as addictions, lying, affairs, or not respecting priorities can jeopardize your relationship and weaken your intimacy. It is absolutely crucial to always protect what you have together.

Flirt with Each Other

When you first fell in love, flirting was a major part of your relationship. Flirting can help you stay in love too. Whether it be with words, or through body language, flirting will convey the message that says “I’m still crazy about you!” Trust me, that goes a long way!

Remember. Love is a verb. Love is action. Love is deep. Love is commitment. Love is selfless.

Love is a choice.

It is by chance that we fall in love, but it is a choice to stay in love.

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