In our lives, friends come and go. Sometimes friendships will simply fade away and other times, they end with a nasty argument or betrayal.
Maybe your friendship ended over something trivial or over something more serious. Friendships can sometimes end because of one’s truthfulness and the other person’s unwillingness to hear the truth about how they may be sabotaging themselves. Personally, when I see a friend behaving in a way that is negative and self-destructive, I have a hard time keeping that to myself. The unfortunate truth is that no matter how gently you approach a situation with some people, they will not be willing to accept the truth or the responsibilities for their actions.
If you have found yourself in a similar situation and you’re wondering what you can do to accept the loss of a friendship, here are a few things that might help.
Go Through The Motions. Nobody wants to feel sadness or anger, but these emotions are a part of life. Allow yourself permission to feel any and all emotions and if you need to get your frustration out, then do it in a constructive way. Negative emotions become toxic when we don’t allow them to escape our bodies. I personally believe that negative emotions held in the body cause sickness. It’s crucial to allow yourself to experience these emotions. Remember, the sooner you let them out, the sooner you will be done with them.
Find The Lesson. What did you learn from the friendship and it’s ending? With everything we experience in life, there is always a lesson to learn. When you are ready, willing and able to do so, ask yourself what you can take away from this experience and see how you can apply it to your life.
How Does This Serve You? It might be strange to think of the end of a friendship as serving you, but I also believe that everything happens for a reason. After you have allowed yourself to go through the emotions as well as to find the lesson, it’s then time to ask how releasing this friendship serves you.
Bury It or Burn It. If there is absolutely no chance of reconciliation, a symbolic burial or cremation will help. As dramatic as it sounds, it’s extremely effective in cleansing and healing your spirit.
To do this, you will need to write down all of your feelings about the situation. Be completely honest and write down everything! You can write this in the form of a letter to your ex-friend or as a journal entry to yourself. Let your thoughts and feelings flow from your mind and your heart and allow those thoughts and feelings to transfer onto paper.
Once you are done writing, find a place where you can bury the letter or burn it. If you choose to bury it, do it away from your home. You do not want any of that negative energy hanging around your property.
Dig up the earth and place your writings into the ground or into the fire. Say some words, words similar to that of a eulogy at a funeral. You may find it healing to thank your friend for the time they shared in your life as well as thank them for the lesson learned. Speak of good times only. Say a prayer for your friend and wish them well.
This symbolic funeral cuts all ties and emotions as you are officially announcing that the friendship is now dead and over.
Give it Time. If there is any chance of reconciling, let some time go by. After you have given it sufficient time you can sending your ex-friend a message. Send a message either by phone, text or email, to let your friend know that you would like to talk. In your message, be sure to discuss only the good times the two of you shared and how the friendship enriched your life. Speaking in a positive way is much healthier and more productive than bringing up the negativity of the friendship’s ending. Giving it time and then speaking only in a positive tone can open the door to communication and reconciliation if both of you wish that to happen.
I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you.